Have you ever heard of story fatigue? It’s when you are asked to tell the same story over and over and eventually you get sick of hearing yourself. Apart from having to revisit all the trauma repeatedly, the more times you tell it, the more you can feel detached.
During my recovery, and for a few years after, I had the opportunity to be in the local paper. I was asked to be on a YouTube advertisement for my private health insurer and in their BUPA magazine. I’ve been on community radio, breakfast television and have been on several different podcasts. This is not to brag, it’s just facts and the reason I said yes was all for the purpose of sharing my experiences as a stomach cancer survivor.
I saw myself as a beacon of hope for the 4% of survivors. If I was offered an opportunity, then I wanted to spread my message far and wide. However, story fatigue eventually hit and I remember the day I knew I’d had enough. The next time I was asked to tell my story I wanted to get paid. Not that I ever wanted to make money from my experience, but I needed to somehow put a value on my time. The Wellbeing Magazine was the first paid article I wrote. I didn’t want cancer to be my legacy. Cancer was just the chapter that helped me find my real passion, Art.
Integrating my art with my health is something that needs to be shared. A lot of small business people in the Art Community are there because they have their own health issues. We are among the vulnerable groups in society. We don’t get paid enough for what we do. We get exploited. Our art is stolen and copied by large corporations. We are underappreciated and undervalued. Being an artist can be an incredibly lonely experience because some of us can’t leave our homes to work for someone else, so our online communities are sometimes our best sources of support. In fact I am a bonified Arterbater. I art alone!
I deliberately kept my cancer journey separate from my Art Page. Gastrectomy Connections and Michelle Potter Artist were two completely different parts of myself. Pre 2023, my socials never gave away I was missing half my organs. The irony of all of this, is I’m here again telling my story, because now I’ve got something new to add!
Did you know that a Total Gastrectomy (complete removal of the stomach) and a Whipples procedure (removal of part or entire pancreas) are two of the biggest surgeries to recover from. Most patients in both support groups suffer from major fatigue, weight loss, malnutrition, reactive hypoglycaemia (or in my case also diabetes). We have a much higher risk of bowel blockages, fatigue, pancreatic inefficacy, malnutrition syndrome, fatigue, irritable bowel, early onset osteoporosis, food intolerance, dumping syndrome, iron deficiency, b12 deficiency, diabetes, cancer occurrence and did I mention fatigue? These are facts and things I live with every single day. I don’t expect anyone other than other patients to understand what it takes to function on daily basis, but a bit of compassion and empathy can go a long way. Life for me is like walking a tight rope . Saying no to things is not because I don’t want to do them, it’s that my body doesn’t have the mental or physical capacity to do it. I will no longer compromise myself for the benefit of others. That includes saying no, a lot, which can, and has, and will probably continue to unfortunately make me out to be the villain in someone else’s story.
So how do I honour my story without rehashing the same trauma and keeping within my integrity ? For a start, I have to look at the lessons that are being put in front of me. I resource myself with the right support networks. I utilise the negative aspects of my experiences and transmute them into something creative and positive. I allow myself to feel everything without guilt or judgement. I hold space for rest if I need it and space to create. Most importantly I no longer carry the weight for others, staying in my own lane and out of other peoples drama.
I am not a rescuer and I do not need to be rescued. The best thing I can do for myself and others is to take care of me. I am making meaningful connections with like minded people and when I show up in the world I am promoting things that inspire and bring me joy.
Cancer does not define me. It is just the vehicle that got me to this point. Just as your experiences have got you to yours.
I honour my story by honouring myself and allowing what will be to be.
