by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Jan 22, 2020 | Life Lessons
Welcome to 2020!
I only have a small mailing list. In fact I probably spend more time procrastinating about what I need to write in a newsletter that the amount of people that actually read it. I do not pretend to be someone I am not, nor do I spend time and money on advertising to get my ‘brand out there’ or to be seen. Truth be told I am not a very good saleswomen and to be honest I dont care. Alot of what we read or perceive to be truth is far from it. Authenticity seems to be the latest buzz word being thrown around. Its the new BullSHIT trend to create a frenzy in marketing and I will not be part of it.
What I do know is that I am a creator. My experiences bring hope, inspiration and passion to others who are also willing to be brave and step into their own power. I do what I do because it brings me joy and healing and if that also brings light and love into the lives of others then I am going to continue doing what I always do, which is just to be me.
My Life is a work of ART ! Every year I see growth and I know this year will be no different. My experiences are packaged up in artwork, energy healing, circles, workshops and groups. This year I will be extending into essential oils through Aromatherapy and DoTerra, online courses and product. There have been many seeds planted over the years and 2020 will reflect my true worth as I am sure it will for many of us.
I love the saying ‘ Watch for people who are always bragging about who they are. A Lion will never have to tell me it’s a Lion.’ It will always be your choice who you have in your life as healers, mentors and teachers and I truly believe you will attract what you mirror out to the world. That will be your truth until you learn a new truth!
Be prepared to go deeper.
www.michellepotter.com.au
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Sep 23, 2016 | Life Lessons
An opportunity to grow. A second chance to embrace a life I once very much took for granted. A time to connect with others that share similar stories to my own, and a time to grieve all those new friends that haven’t been as lucky as I have. I don’t know why I survived and they didn’t. I cry for their partners, their children and their families but I know, given the chance, they would all want me to live the life I have been blessed with. I never thought that this is what my soul path would look like. I never thought I would be here in this moment, sitting in a plane. Im on my way home with my family after having the opportunity to create some wonderful memories.
As with most people, life goes on and people busy themselves again with work, family and friends, but for those that experience massive trauma something on the inside changes. Only those that go through this transition truly understand the cosmic collision of reality and the illusion of life that is sometimes played out like a Hollywood movie. Drama becomes trivial and we no longer care for those that create it. Only true friendships remain after the storm, and new relationships are based on wisdom, experience and clarity. The veils are lifted and what is left is a stark new reality of how those who have experienced trauma choose to live.
Take a tsunami as an example. The wave is a huge gush of emotion, it totally wipes just about everything out. Everyone rallies right after the disaster. Relief teams comes flooding in from everywhere to help. The people feel very cared for and supported, but it is short lived relief. After a time facilities have been put in place so people leave and get on with their lives. They are initially impacted by the tragedy but their own personal lives pretty much go on the same. However the people hit by the tsunami must rebuild. They must grief friends and family they may have lost. They have not only the practical to implement, some may even reassess their entire belief system. After all, what type of God would cause this much devastation in a persons life?
Rebuilding your mind, body and spirit takes time. Through personal experience I can tell you it takes years. You are left raw and vulnerable and grieving so many things that sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. You have no choice but to change. I don’t expect others to understand or respect the decisions I make. My decision making can sometimes be viewed upon as cold and unforgiving but I am neither. I make decisions based on my circumstances to forge boundaries and protect myself. I can only do this with the information and knowledge that I have in front of me. Tomorrow may bring new light to situations and as a person with integrity I will accept my indeficiencies as a human being and search for forgiveness if I have made mistakes. My health is and always will be a fine balance. My philosophy is simple. Treat me with kindness and understanding and I will show you the same respect.
We all have a story, and we all manage to survive it in our own way. The last five years have been tough. Financially, medically, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It has redefined who I am. I have stepped into the person I was always supposed to be and it has been one tough initiation. So now I look to a future without fear of failure. For there is no such thing, only another day to begin again.
Michelle
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Dec 11, 2015 | Cancer, Life Lessons, Stomach Cancer
Late last week I felt a thickening of my left breast tissue. A small but noticeable lumpy bit that just managed to get more painful the more I poked and played with it. I made an unscheduled visit to my doctor, followed by a lengthy mammogram, and ultrasound. At least some relief was given to me at the appointment and although nothing was found in the left breast a fibroadenoma was found in the right. This will require some monitoring due to my history and genetics as Lynch Syndrome also carries a slighter higher risk of breast cancer. Yet another reminder that no matter how positive I am, how healthy I live, how self aware and #ultraspiritual I feel there are just some things that I cannot control. It doesn’t seem to matter if I’m a good person , a bad person or something in between. Sometimes shit just happens.
Having gone through an enormous life changing experience in 2011 I know I have grown and changed in so many ways. My family is the most precious gift I have. Watching my children grow up is such a blessing that many of my cancer friends will never get. Every year that ticks past, and every photo that I can get with Santa fills my heart with so much gratitude. I have focused and continue to develop in my craft and work at it every day. My art has been at the forefront of my ability to heal, help and express myself. I also devote my time to helping others to connect and give a platform to so many out there that also live life without a stomach. I have used the last 4 ½ years positively, productively and creatively in the hope to better understand myself and what I have to offer the world.
My ability to discern which relationships I allow into my life is extremely important and anything I feel is toxic just has to go, no question. When you are sitting in a doctors office waiting for test results you are not thinking about what the mums at school are saying, or what sale you might be missing out on. You are worried about your kids, your husband, yourself . You worry about how you and your family are going to cope. How you are going to stay positive? How you are going to get through this? You ponder on the what ifs, no matter how hard you try not to. The anxiety and anticipation of an outcome you cannot control is the scariest thing you can possibly imagine. It shakes you to your very core and nothing else matters to you accept those that are close to your heart.
I feel like I am continuously being grounded and reminded of what matters most. As much as I can appreciate the experience from a spiritual awakening sense, from a human perspective it is absolutely exhausting. And this isn’t just a little bump in the road, I have to live like this for the rest of my life. I have been reminded this week that no matter how much I put the cancer behind me there is always, always going to be a percentage of it on my mind. Every lump, every blood test, every scan brings another wave of anxiety that unless you have experienced it, you can never possibly understand it.
“ Why wear a dress if it doesn’t fit you anymore? Of course you might put up with it for a while but you will eventually get to a point where you think “I need to let that go that, it doesn’t fit me anymore”. Nothing has changed with the dress, it’s exactly the same as when you first purchased it. Its you that’s changed.
If you were once a part of my life and are no longer then it’s nothing personal. Seriously, it’s got nothing to do with you, it just means that you are no longer a reflection of me. Why wear a dress if it doesn’t fit you anymore? Of course you might put up with it for a while but you will eventually get to a point where you think “I need to let that go that, it doesn’t fit me anymore”. Nothing has changed with the dress, it’s exactly the same as when you first purchased it. It’s you that’s changed. We all have our light bulb moments, the ones that put our lives into perspective. Well, my life seems to be one massive light bulb! Your perspective on life is based on your own personal experiences, your truth, your belief systems and I respect that, but it also means my experiences have evolved me to a point where I have outgrown you. It doesn’t mean I think I am better than you, it just means that I am very selective about who I allow into my life and the energy they bring. I truly hope you never understand, but if one day you do then you might appreciate just a taste of what its like walking in my shoes.
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Sep 8, 2015 | Cancer, Life Lessons, Stomach Cancer
I remember getting alot of adult attention after my father’s death. A steady stream of people flowed through our family home bearing food and gifts to cheer us up. I guess it worked because I cannot remember being a grief stricken child. At school my art design was chosen for the Christmas card competition (and it wasn’t very good!). I was given leading roles at my ballet school and my teachers were nice, caring and generally overcompensating especially around the father’s day celebrations. I was never given a real opportunity to grieve the loss because everyone around me always wanted to make me happy.
The earliest recollection of my father being sick was visiting him in hospital. I remember that visit because I buried my head in his overnight bag so I didn’t have to watch the nurse change his drip. He thought it was extremely funny, although my fear of needles lasted for the next 27 years! One day I sat on his knee and looked him right in the eyes. ‘Dad’ I asked, “Are you going to die?’ My father had been diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer. How do you tell a 6 year old the truth without breaking her little heart, so of course my Dad lied ‘No Princess, I’m not going to die’. When he passed in 1978 at the age of 36, I was 6 years old and my little baby brother was 4.
The magic in life just seemed to slowly disappear. Quite suddenly as everyone got back to their own lives things got hard. I not only lost my Dad that day, I lost a part of my mum as well. As I grew older I became angry and resentful that my father had not only died but lied. I was never able to let go of the hurt although my adult logic knew why he done what he had done. I guess you can never really appreciate what someone is experiencing until you experience it yourself.
When I was 39 years old with young children of my own I was diagnosed with stage 3 stomach cancer. The frightened little girl, who stuck her head in the overnight bag resurfaced. I was given an opportunity to see my father’s diagnosis through my own eyes and I was finally able to grieve the loss of my father. I would look into my babies eyes at night and feel the overwhelming sadness and heartache my father must have felt knowing he was not going to see us grow up. I cherished every moment with my family, not knowing if I was heading into the same terminal diagnosis. The time I was able to sit on the floor and play with my boys became ever so precious. My husband became my career, my strength and support. He took over the running of the house to the organizing of everyone’s life. I only had one job, to get myself well so I could give my boys the opportunity to have what I never had growing up, two parents. My surgery was successful and after months of chemo, radiation and healing I was given a second chance at life.
Four years after my surgery and 37 years of my father resting up at the crematorium my mother decided it was time to scatter his ashes. I think we all would love one more day with a loved one that has passed and I feel so blessed at having had the opportunity. Even though I always know he is with me in spirit, I had a physical connection and something to hold onto for one more day. His urn lay next to me while I watched TV, I held him in my bed and cried. I told him how much I love and missed him, and he spent his last physical night watching over me from my bedside table. I got to hold him in my hands again as my mum and I scattered his ashes in the sea and I now keep his plaque in my garden. I felt life come full circle and I was finally able to put some closure on the funeral I did not attend as a child.
My experience with cancer allowed me to open up and release the part of me that needed to let go. I still feel sadness even while I re-read this blog. I don’t think that will ever go away but the anger and the sense of being robbed of my childhood no longer has a place in my heart.
Michelle Lykokapis
Stomach Cancer Survivor
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Oct 30, 2014 | Cancer, Life Lessons, Stomach Cancer
Self prescribing vitamins., I’ve been doing it for years. After my stomach cancer and subsequent surgery, I was thrown into a world of supplements and nutritional deficiencies that carry lifelong consequences if I don’t keep on top on things. Fortunately for me I have blood tests every three months so I can see how most levels are going. To stay at my optimum every day I religiously down at least 20 vitamin tablets, ½ aspirin and an antibiotic and occasionally throw a few other things in depending on my blood test results. I don’t do this willy nilly, I do a fair bit of homework on what will work for me, what I’m already taking and speak to professionals in their field to gauge if my homework reflects their professional option. This helps me make educated choices but even so I still don’t know if I’m getting it right. I can only go on how I look, feel and how my body is responding to life. People in my situation are left in a very vulnerable position when it comes to wanting to take care of ourselves and we have to be wary of those who seek to take advantage of that.
I am raising this topic today because I can’t help but feel really upset and angry at myself at a situation that happened to me earlier in the year. It was recommended to me that I seek out the help of an Integrative Medical Naturopath. This is a person who understands western medical practices and can incorporate both medical and naturopathic medicine for the best possible outcome. As I am not about to leave the comfort of my own home to live naked, eat organic and grow hairy armpits in the rainforests of Brazil, I thought ‘Perfect this is exactly what I have been looking for’. This person was highly recommended to me by a couple of people so I sent an email entailing my situation and made an appointment.
Let me start by saying, this person is AMAZING. She was extremely professional and certainly knows her stuff. She was all about what I could do moving forward and being proactive with my health and how we could monitor my funky cancer genes. She gave me a few things to try and this ended the consultation. I made a follow up appointment, go to pay and OUCH $270.30!!! First consultation fees and very little back with my private health (not to mention a 35 minute drive from my house) made for a very expensive round trip.
Second consult, just as good as the first one. I had handed over my supplement sheet, medical records and blood tests in my previous consult and she had gone away to do her analysis. More encouraging outcomes and a prescription that needed to be filled by a Compounding Pharmacy. (Pharmacy compounding is an established tradition which allows a physician to prescribe a very specific medication, prepared by a pharmacist, for a patient’s individual needs.) End consultation, make follow up appointment, go to pay….still ouch $129.00 but not quite as bad this time.
A few weeks had gone by and I was following up the prescription with the Pharmacy, turns out one of the ingredients was obviously coming from the arse of a Lama which was sitting on the top of Mount Kanchenjunga in Nepal. So I waited a few more days and then they called to tell me it was ready. The conversation went something like this…. (names have been changed so I don’t get sued!)
Them – ‘Hello, this is Tina from ABC Pharmacy, I am calling to tell you your prescription is ready’
Me – ‘Oh, great how much is it?’
Them – ‘$379.40’
Me –
Me – ‘Sorry, was that $379.40 cents?’
Them – ‘Yes, extra if you want delivery’
Me – (nervous giggle) ‘Gee I hope that is a month’s supply’
Them – ‘No this is for one week’
Me –
Me – ‘Well I guess I have to pay for that (as you have already sent a small slave child up a big mountain to collect the droppings of a Lama) . I just want to tell you that I am extremely surprised and really disappointed that I have to pay this amount. We are a one income family and this is ridiculous. I should have been warned it was going to cost this much.’
Them – ‘Yes, some of the ingredients (mainly the stuff from the arse of that Lama ) in your prescription were very expensive. Best you speak to your naturopath.’
Me – ‘Yes, thanks I will do that’. (Reluctantly handed over Visa details and address)
END CONVERSATION
I got off the phone and apart from being in absolute shock, I was totally devastated. How was I going to explain to my husband that this magic gold dust was going to do everything that I needed in order for me to stay cancer free and see my little boys turn into men. I did indeed call and speak to my ‘Integrative Medical Naturopath’ and clearly explained our financial situation. (Just for the record I already consume approximately $200 worth of vitamin and nutritional supplements a month, just add the gold dust of $379.40 a week, her consultation fee and seriously no one in their right mind could afford this, let alone a one income family) She apologized and said she wasn’t aware that it was going to cost that much. As much as I wanted to believe her I figured if you do this every day and it is your profession I’m going to have to call ‘Bullshit’.
That night I sat and cried, a lot. There was a massive assumption that we could afford anything that was prescribed to me. There was no upfront explanation that some or all of my medication was extremely expensive. You almost get pushed into a corner and feel obligated that you must follow this path in order to live a healthy life. Cost seemed to be an afterthought to them. Of course there was no way we could continue to do this and I felt let down, angry and frustrated with the entire situation. Here I am, wanting to take the best possible care of myself and in my opinion I had been manipulated. My question of cost during the consultation was met with ‘I’m not sure about that, but it will be around $150’. I’m not sure who I was more mad at, me for feeling guilty that I couldn’t afford medication for my health and wellbeing, the government for not supporting and supplementing natural medicine, the naturopath for charging too much and under quoting my costs, the pharmacy for overcharging, or the Lama! Mostly I was just sad because I felt this avenue was no longer an option for me because we weren’t in a financial position to pay for everything.
I continue to search for complementary medicine and do self development and spiritual work on a daily basis. I understand that this body is my vehicle to get me through this lifetime, I need to take care of it the best way I can. If there is one thing I have learned through this experience it is not to put all your eggs in one basket. I have a great team of medical and alternate support people around me. Don’t get discouraged by one set back, life is full of other opportunities you just have to make the choice to go out and look for them. I must say Brazil’s looking pretty good!
