by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Aug 11, 2024 | Art as Therapy, Blogs
Let’s rewind to wear it all began.
I was only 6 years old when my father died and I remember those early weeks quite distinctly. Dad had bowel cancer and from diagnosis to his passing was about 4 months. One day he got sick and the next day he was gone.
Everyone bought me gifts. Passing mourners that entered our home brought me something nice, shiny and new. I was never a spoilt child and these sorts of presents were normally reserved for Christmas and birthdays. I was supposed to be sad wasn’t I? How could I possibly be sad when I had all these wonderful new toys to distract me. It was a very emotionally confusing time for me.
The morning of the funeral, I recall my grandparents pulling up the driveway quite early. I was excited because Grandad was here and it wasn’t even the weekend. He was all dressed up in his suit and tie. My Nan never got out of the car, and my excitement was short-lived as I also saw the neighbour, who always ate the best biscuits when she babysat, trundling up behind. Then Mum said goodbye and left. I remember watching them leave in Grandad’s car and feeling terrible and confused about the whole thing.
I cannot recall them telling me they were burying my Dad that day because that would be something I would definitely remember. I was just annoyed and confused that they had gone somewhere without me, and I was left in the house with the lady from around the corner who would tie her kid to the clothesline by his child harness.
Mum wanted me to remember Dad the way he was, not laying in a box, and as a parent we all have to make terribly difficult decisions. But I never had a chance to say goodbye. I never even had a chance to grieve. I carried that grief with me for over 30 years until I lost my second pregnancy at 11 weeks. The impact of well-meaning decisions around my father’s death influenced so much of my life. It wasn’t until I had children of my own that I realised how important it was that, no matter how hard, little humans also need a space to grieve.
As adults, we do everything possible to protect our children from the hurts and pain of the world, but it catches up. It’s not something that ever goes away until we are faced to deal with it differently. I spent many many years grieving the loss of my father instead of praising the effects and hard work of my mother. It was always about the loss for me. The Dad who didn’t come to special Father’s Day events. The Dad that couldn’t walk me down the aisle. The Dad I couldn’t hug and confide in because, well, he was dead. All I had for many years was a plague in a crematorium and no closure.
The void this created was a severe sense of lack. My mother became fiercely independent, and to her credit, we never went without. I may have grown up on second-hand clothes and Vegemite sandwiches, but we never went hungry, we always had clothes, and we always had a roof over our heads.
Losing a father figure at a very young age changed the course of my life and it hasn’t been all bad. Pain can bring out the worst and the best in some people. Not all people that are hurting hurt people.
Art has taught me how to express emotion productively and positively. Take my latest ‘Art with Heart’ cards as an example. I needed a constructive way to view my situation when I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I knew exactly what the negative self-talk was telling me, and sometimes, it was dressed up with pretty clothes and lipstick. This is why the negative side of these cards looks attractive and colourful, not dark and foreboding.
It’s a tough journey taking a good hard look in the mirror and recognising everything that needs to change within ourselves. The ego is designed to protect us and sometimes it takes a hard life lesson or two to knock us back on the right path.
Cancer turns you inside out. It affects everything and everyone around you. I believe my stomach cancer was my massive initiation into my life’s purpose. My more recent cancer diagnosis was to just make sure I’d learned my lessons. There are still lessons as part of this process, but I’m pretty confident I’m done.
I got it loud and clear.
Boundaries, non judgment, forgiveness.
Done done done.
Please, Universe, let me be done. I’ll be quite happy to shine right up until my number is up.
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Jul 11, 2024 | Art as Therapy, Blogs, Cancer, Life Lessons, Updates
A creative life is an interesting and challenging one. My mind has so many fleeting ideas. It takes practice to catch the right one and transform it into physical form.
Being creative has taught me that completing cycles carries over into life to help me finish things that I start. Not everything mind you, I am a work in progress!
The irony is, that once that thought is out there, if you don’t action it, someone else will. How many times have you heard someone say “I thought of that years ago. That was my idea.” Well technically it might have been, however, if you do nothing with the gift the universe gave to you don’t expect it to hang around! It wants to be birthed into the world.
The creative process made me question everything I ever thought myself capable of doing. For me that meant the four P’s. Patience, persistence, perseverance and practice.
Remember when I told my art mentor Lynn that I could not draw animals or people? Have you seen my art? I can most definitely draw those things, and so much more.
Let me take you back to Christmas 1978. There was a whole school competition to design a Christmas card and everyone had a chance to draw something. Granted, I had lost my Dad that year and the teachers probably all got together and thought it would be a nice gesture for me to be the winner. Of course I don’t know that as fact and I certainly wouldn’t have known that back then. So, when it was announced that my drawing had won the competition, I was so excited. My little stick drawing of Joseph and Mary kneeling down looking at the crib with baby Jesus. Designed by Michelle Potter written on the back. The very first time I ever saw my name published in ink.
My neighbour was someone I looked up to like a big sister. She was two years older than me and most days her, her sister and myself all walked to school together. After the winner had been announced she came up to me in the school corridor and told me that my drawing was really bad. That there were so many better drawings than mine. Then she blurted out ‘You just won because your Dad died’. My little heart was crushed. Looking back now I know she was probably jealous, because to her, I was getting an awful lot of attention, but to my seven-year-old self, it was like she had torn the sun out of the sky just because she could.
It planted a seed of doubt that me winning had nothing to do with my talent. I was now questioning, like most things that happened around my Father‘s death, that people wanted me to be happy and were doing nice things because they felt sorry for me, with of course the exception of my neighbour!
I believe this had a big impact on my art at a young age. It was the creation of a belief pattern that if I did something well, people I loved were going tear it down and often it was someone that I trusted. That being good at something brought out jealousy and nasty behaviour. From this moment I started to think it was much better to blend in and not stand out.
This pattern was repeated, confirmed and reinforced in different forms throughout my 13 years of classical ballet and schooling. I deliberately sabotaged myself and never excelled at anything because success meant I wouldn’t be liked. And I really needed to be liked.
Throughout all my childhood challenges I wish I’d had someone to encourage and nurture the creative side of myself. Someone to show me that I never really wanted to be like everybody else. I think the closest I ever got was my high school drama teacher Miss Collins. She was petite with short blonde spiky hair, wore baggy jeans and vests. (Very 80’s). She was a little bit out there and I loved her for it. I especially remember the day we all sang the Na na na nananana, nannana part of ‘Hey Jude’ so loud in a portable classroom, the teacher next door came in to see if our class had a teacher. I’ll never forget how red Miss Collins cheeks went with embarrassment.
A very important lesson for me is from the book ‘The Artist Way’. Julia Cameron uses the analogy of an elephant. That different people in your life will only see parts of you. Your work colleagues may only see the trunk, your family may see the side and your friends the tail. Very rarely will anyone see the entire elephant. Your entire self.
As an adult I now understand how important it is to surround yourself with the right people. To do what I love just for the joy of creating. It was never my intention to make a business out of it (if I can even call it that). It’s a platform to show off that baby Jesus Christmas card and If I make some money in the process then yay me.
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Apr 17, 2020 | Artwork, Life Lessons, Spiritual Guidance
Firstly, this is the first time I have publicly shared a reading with you all. Whatever your belief system, if you do decide to continue to read, I want you to do so with an open heart and mind. For those that have had a commissioned Guide Drawing done for them before you will know there is part channeling, part symbology and part intuitive as I am gently guided when I start to write or paint. This is how it works for me.
This painting may mean different things to different people, and that is totally okay. I am an interpreter of my own work and how she resonates with you will be your truth. Feel free to screen shot her and take her into your home. Meditate with what this painting means to you and just allow the images to reveal themselves. I have had several requests for Guide work however I am not offering personal Guide Drawings at the moment as I am choosing to protect my own energy. However, if a little way down the track I feel guided to open up my books again I will be sure to post it on my Social. As always take care and #stayathome.
Namaste
Michelle
As I began writing this reading I was reminded of the song ‘He has the whole world in his hands.’ This song is a reminder that God (The Divine, Universal Energy or however you choose to identify with Source) is in control of all aspects of creation and we should take comfort in this knowledge. From the birds in the air and the fish in the sea to “little bitsy babies”, everything is in Gods hands.
This beautiful Guide introduced herself to me as Marla. When I looked up the meaning of the name Marla it is a variant of the name Marlene, which comes from Mary Magdalene, the biblical woman to whom Jesus Christ first appeared after his resurrection. This may mean something or nothing, but I believe a name holds weight especially when a Guide shares this with me, as they do not always reveal this detail. Interpret this as you will.
For those that know about power animals, Hummingbird symbology represents one of joy, love, healing, happiness and timelessness. ‘Hummingbird also possesses an unusual hovering pattern, and is able to move its wings in a figure of eight pattern, a symbol for infinity., This holds a message for us – often we find ourselves stuck in time, regretting or longing for the past, or hoping that the future will bring better things, building castles in the sky. We are shown how to view the past and then let go, rather than be continuously caught up in it, we learn how to appreciate that the past creates our future, and that even at the time some lessons were harsh and hurtful ones, we wouldn’t be who we are without these lessons today. We need the past to create the future, but mustn’t dwell in it, yet we may reflect on it bur not in a bitter cant-let-go manner. If we become the observer of our lives by moving back a step, our lives will be viewed differently. Hummingbird teaches us to go beyond time and to see that what happened in the past and what may happen in the future is not nearly as important as what is occurring now. Remember to hover in the moment, and to appreciate its sweetness. Drink deeply of the nectar of life. The vibrating hum of this birds wings and their lightness seem to symbolise the subtle energetic healing which essences can provide. Their physical lightness is a powerful reminder for us to lighten up. When weighed down with worries, our spirits cannot soar.’ – Inna Woolcott
To read more about Hummingbird energy please see the Shamanic Journey website http://www.shamanicjourney.com/hummingbird-power-animal-mes…
Marla’s Message:
Your prayers are heard sweet children of planet Earth. You have not been forgotten. Trust me when I say that a solution will come but not in the way you expect. Allow this time to plant seeds for what is to come, for this is the change that was always going to happen. If you want to see a different world then you are going to have to create this together. Some will soon forget the difficulties in which you are all facing, and others will find it difficult to move forward with the weight of their grief and sorrow. Hold fast awakened ones, as you are the anchors that will allow the space for the new world to enter. Grieve not for the souls that are ascending for they are simply coming home. You are surrounded by pure unconditional love. There is no right or wrong, it ‘just is’. Can you feel the energy building? It is sending out impulses that are reaching galaxies far beyond yours. We hear the call and we are coming. You do not have to do this alone, so with unseen hands we are holding space for you while you transition. Much like a Mother will watch tenderly knowing her babe will fall, but also waiting to see them stand up on their own. There are times when we need to step back to allow you to grow, this is that time. Remember, remember dear ones. Remember where you come from and why you are here at this very moment in time. You chose to help with the evolution of this planet. Return back to love and you will remember. You will remember.
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the wind and the rain in His hands
He’s got the wind and the rain in His hands
He’s got the wind and the rain in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the little bitty baby in His hands
He’s got the little bitty baby in His hands
He’s got the little bitty baby in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got you and me, brother in His hands
He’s got you and me, brother in His hands
He’s got you and me, brother in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got you and me, sister in His hands
He’s got you and me, sister in His hands
He’s got you and me, sister in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Sep 23, 2016 | Life Lessons
An opportunity to grow. A second chance to embrace a life I once very much took for granted. A time to connect with others that share similar stories to my own, and a time to grieve all those new friends that haven’t been as lucky as I have. I don’t know why I survived and they didn’t. I cry for their partners, their children and their families but I know, given the chance, they would all want me to live the life I have been blessed with. I never thought that this is what my soul path would look like. I never thought I would be here in this moment, sitting in a plane. Im on my way home with my family after having the opportunity to create some wonderful memories.
As with most people, life goes on and people busy themselves again with work, family and friends, but for those that experience massive trauma something on the inside changes. Only those that go through this transition truly understand the cosmic collision of reality and the illusion of life that is sometimes played out like a Hollywood movie. Drama becomes trivial and we no longer care for those that create it. Only true friendships remain after the storm, and new relationships are based on wisdom, experience and clarity. The veils are lifted and what is left is a stark new reality of how those who have experienced trauma choose to live.
Take a tsunami as an example. The wave is a huge gush of emotion, it totally wipes just about everything out. Everyone rallies right after the disaster. Relief teams comes flooding in from everywhere to help. The people feel very cared for and supported, but it is short lived relief. After a time facilities have been put in place so people leave and get on with their lives. They are initially impacted by the tragedy but their own personal lives pretty much go on the same. However the people hit by the tsunami must rebuild. They must grief friends and family they may have lost. They have not only the practical to implement, some may even reassess their entire belief system. After all, what type of God would cause this much devastation in a persons life?
Rebuilding your mind, body and spirit takes time. Through personal experience I can tell you it takes years. You are left raw and vulnerable and grieving so many things that sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. You have no choice but to change. I don’t expect others to understand or respect the decisions I make. My decision making can sometimes be viewed upon as cold and unforgiving but I am neither. I make decisions based on my circumstances to forge boundaries and protect myself. I can only do this with the information and knowledge that I have in front of me. Tomorrow may bring new light to situations and as a person with integrity I will accept my indeficiencies as a human being and search for forgiveness if I have made mistakes. My health is and always will be a fine balance. My philosophy is simple. Treat me with kindness and understanding and I will show you the same respect.
We all have a story, and we all manage to survive it in our own way. The last five years have been tough. Financially, medically, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It has redefined who I am. I have stepped into the person I was always supposed to be and it has been one tough initiation. So now I look to a future without fear of failure. For there is no such thing, only another day to begin again.
Michelle
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Feb 28, 2016 | Life Lessons
This quote came up on my news-feed on Facebook this morning and got me to thinking. There is still the belief that people expect you to be a tree hugging hippie because you are living a ‘spiritual life’. It is like the shadow of religious dogma coming down on you again and people having the perception that because you believe in a higher consciousness that you should walk around being a ‘nice’ person. I’m not sure why they feel you should turn the other cheek and forgive unconditionally then diss you if you don’t.
From my experience, when you start to walk in your truth, when you decide to put boundaries in your life, when you start to honor your space first you may not appear to those around you like a nice person. You may actually appear like a very selfish one. The reason this occurs is because you start to change and shift and people don’t like that. They either have to change themselves to continue to be a reflection of you or you leave them behind, which in turn can bring up lots of negative feelings for them. There are plenty of victims in life and when you shine the light on their bad behavior or no longer tolerate their dramas then they feel they have no other option than to deflect the responsibility of their actions and bad mouth you. Its like being voted off the Island on the game of Survivor! You can loose entire friendship circles, family members, work colleges. It can sometimes feel like a purging by fire only you do not come out Daenerys Targaryen and you are not the Mother of Dragons!
Instead you are left with a lightness which can feel like a void. What are you going to possibly do with all this time now you don’t have to sit there in drama? You are going to get out and live the creative life you were born to live, that’s what you are going to do. Find your purpose, reconnect with your spirit, do things that make you happy and love those important people in your life that make your heart smile. Embrace the shadow side of yourself, for there is no Yin without Yang. Learn how to read your negative thoughts and pull them apart piece by piece until you locate the real reason why you feel like you do. Self truth is an incredibly confronting thing and it pushes you out of your comfort zone. Not everyone is ready for that, and that is why not everyone is ready to go on a ‘spiritual journey’. I’m not going to lie, it can sometimes make you feel very alone especially around those special milestones when you realize that you no longer have enough genuine ‘friends and family’ to invite to fill a room to help you celebrate.
If being real has lost me friends, then I know the one’s I have gained since and continue to meet are the ones I allow to enter into my sacred space. I still struggle and like all humans I have an inner craving to be accepted. The last six years of my life has seemed like a tidal wave, all the old was washed away and I am more confident with who I am and why I am here, and realize that I may not always appear to be ‘nice’, but I’m okay with that.
