by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Aug 27, 2024 | Art as Therapy, Artwork, Blogs, Cancer, Life Lessons, Updates
It was 2012, I was asked to be part of advertisement from my health insurer BUPA Australia. The film maker was genuinely interested in my story. We met up for coffee after my interview and he was discussing my art. He said “I don’t want to see whats in here” pointing to his head, “I want to see what you can do from here”, pointing to his heart.
It had been several months after my surgery and hadn’t yet started pastel art classes. Up until this time I thought I was painting from my heart, so I was a bit confused. I had started a painting of a peacock and it sat untouched for two years after this coffee catch up. Yes. it took another 2 years worth of arting before I truly understand what he meant!
The start of my peacock painting.
Part of the creative, learning, pathway is finding your authenticity. Your style, your mark, your reason. Something that defines you as an artist.
As a beginner, which I was at the time, I was copying from other artists. A bit from here and a bit from there, and there is nothing wrong with that, as we all have to start somewhere. I still take courses from other artists and absolutely love it, it keeps my creative flow going without the brain power. However the only way to find your own style is through an openness to learn and lots of practice.
There is a real vulnerability in trying something new. What if I fail? What if my art is crap? What if people laugh at me? What if people tell me I’m wasting my time? Am I wasting my time? Am I too old to learn something new? I don’t really have what it takes? I’m sure there has been a time in every one’s life when you may have said things like this to yourself.
Let’s look from a slightly different perspective. What if I’m really good at this? What have I got to lose by trying? What if this opens doors for me that I never thought possible? Does this make me feel good? Does this challenge me? Do, I really care what anyone else thinks? Does it light me up inside? And also in my case- What if I have been given a second chance and I don’t use it?
One thing I never thought I would get out of my cancer experience, was a real sense of joy, strength and determination.
Old Michelle lacked self confidence. She would never step too far out of her comfort zone (this was her self protection mechanism). She would self sabotage. This included lots of negative self talk. She never did anything if she thought she would fail at it. She struggled with boundaries and communication. She craved ‘me time’ but in a negative destructive drunk teenager kind of way. She was pretty angry and frustrated with life and swallowed that shit down like hot lava. (Honestly I’m not surprised the cancer ended up in my stomach). All smiles on the outside, but on the inside she was really, really unhappy.
Here I was thinking the world was conspiring against me and then BAM! You want out, here’s your opportunity. You want to be skinny, you don’t know what skinny is. You want your life to be completely different, hold on baby you’re in for one hell of a ride. WARNING: Be careful what you wish for.
Cancer gives you an opportunity to review your life. Parts of you are left exposed. Parts of you are vulnerable. Parts are angry, confused, grieving and at the same time new parts start to open up. You find gratitude in small gestures and the kindness of strangers. Points of unbearable pain make you appreciate just being able to wake up and have an unaided shower. If you embrace the unknown journey ahead then you can gain great insight and clarity into your own life. In among the chaos you have an opportunity to find your authentic self. Difficult times make you stretch further than you think is humanly possible. This is why, I believe, you have your biggest growth during your toughest times.
My art journey started because when I got creative, it made me feel good. Taking the next step and going to class helped me connect with other artists as well as helping me learn the basics. It was a big step to do something just for me. I had two primary age children at home and a lot of responsibility when my husband went back to work after my illness. But I quickly started to realise that it was really important that I make time for me. I wasn’t just a wife, mother and step mum. Before all that responsibility entered my life, I was just Michelle, me. Now I had to navigate what life looked like without a stomach. I had to rediscover who I was again and what was my new normal. Surly if I could learn how to live without a stomach I could learn a new craft?
I like that my styles and mediums can change, as long as I embrace my authentic self while discovering it.
My first reminder is to do what lights me up. If it’s painting one week and pottery the next then that’s what it is. The world needs butterflies as much as it needs bees (metaphorically that is).
My second reminder is to create for the pure pleasure of doing it. When the tide goes out on a project, just let it go! It’s bound to come back in again and when it does you’ll have lots of new ideas to add to it.
My third thing to reminder is that I know who I am and what I’m good at, and I don’t need any outside validation to feel good about myself. I will find my tribe and they will find me.
Remember there is enough work out there for everyone. If you use somebody’s artwork for inspiration then make sure that you credit them. If you do a class with another artist, then make sure you credit them. If you love another artist work, make sure that you share their work and credit them. If you share an image on your socials, well you get the idea, credit the artist!
The art community is a small community and if we can help each other and build each other up then maybe we can inspire others to get creative as well.
Win-win.
The world needs more artists.
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Jul 20, 2024 | Art as Therapy, Artwork, Blogs, Cancer, Life Lessons, Pancreatic Cancer, Stomach Cancer, Updates
I asked a musician friend of mine how he feels when people request his old songs. It was a question he hadn’t been asked before. After some thought, he told me that most times, he didn’t mind, but he preferred to play his new work.
Someone mentioned to me that they preferred my old abstract work. I can’t deny it; I felt a little insulted. Looking back at some of my old pieces, I’m embarrassed that I sold them and even more surprised that people wanted them. Given the chance I would recycle all the canvases! I’ve never understood how some artists are happy painting the same thing over and over and over for years. The repetitive nature of that would bore me to tears. Art, like music, should evolve with you, but that’s my opinion!
Initially, I posted my paintings on Facebook in an album on my personal profile. Like most mum-start-up businesses, I started with friends and family. I knew someone who worked in a little florist shop, so my paintings also hung on the wall on consignment. I even managed to sell a few.
In those early years, I learnt a few big lessons about shops and consignment paintings, but when you are starting out, you are genuinely grateful for the exposure and a space to sell your work.
Side note: For those unfamiliar with consignment work, an artist can work out a mutual agreement with a shop or space that benefits both parties. In my experience, it is good to have everything in writing so you are all on the same page. Also, be aware that any loss or damage caused to your artwork during its duration in the space may not be covered. For some reason, people like to touch paintings, especially kids with sticky little fingers
Facebook was in its infancy, and as my work started getting traction, I created a business Page called Paintings by Michelle. These were the days when people who liked your Page actually got to see your posts. Abstract was my thing, and the kitchen bench was my workspace. Painting by day and cooking for the family by night. It was good as I had to pack everything up by 4pm before dinner prep. It was also bad as I had to pack every thing up by 4pm before dinner prep!
Creating with molding paste and acrylic paint gave some great textures to the artwork and I really enjoyed being able to experiment. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing but I knew that it made me feel good. I didn’t know it then, but I was inviting my inner child to come out and play. An opportunity to be vulnerable, to experiment, to be messy and most of all open up to joy. Selling the art was an extra bonus. At that point in time, I was fully intending to return to the workforce. This was my self-indulgent fun, not a career. Everyone knows that you can’t make money from art….right?
Let’s discuss pushing through the ugly. Every artist knows that all paintings go through an ugly stage. Ugly parts of a painting, ugly parts of life. Same, same but different. It’s one thing to push through the ugly supported and a completely different thing pushing through the ugly on your own. Unfortunately, in 2011, there were not a lot of resources for Stomach cancer patients. I had to look overseas to find groups, and through that, I found other Australians who were going through similar experiences as myself.
Pushing through the ugly gets you out of your comfort zone. I couldn’t find the resources I needed to support myself, so I created one. I called it Support Group for Partial and Total Gastrectomy Patients and later changed the name to Gastrectomy Connections. Through the 12 years I administered the group along with a handful of volunteers, I connected with people all over the world. It became (and still is) an invaluable resource for many people heading into gastric surgery because of cancer or health-related gastrointestinal issues. A few years later, a sister group was started, and between us, we created a combined community of around 3 thousand members. Two years ago, I hung up my admin hat and handed the website and group over to a large not-for-profit in the States. Sometimes, you get to create something that grows so much larger than you, and then it’s your job to let it go, and that’s exactly what I did.
As the saying goes, ‘You grow through what you go through.’ Whether that is a new skill or a life-changing experience, the more you work at it, the more you learn. I really believe that it helped open me up to a more diverse and wider perspective on life, people, and how I viewed the world. If it wasn’t for my cancer, I would not have been prepared for what life had in store for me. It was the groundwork for everything that was to come.
Image Ref : Michelle Potter Artist 2024
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Jul 20, 2024 | Art as Therapy, Artwork, Blogs, Cancer, Life Lessons, Pancreatic Cancer, Stomach Cancer, Updates
When I taught pastel art classes, I would divide beginner students into two categories: bakers and quilters. Like the ‘Pastel Whisperer,’ I would know within minutes what someone’s preferred style of drawing was. It was like a magic trick!
Remember the Swedish chef from the muppets? He would appear to have a plan but by the end of the scene he would have flour all over the place! This Baker type of artist doesn’t mind creative play (mess), and are usually happy to do some free-styling . They generally listen for a short time before the temptation of starting the drawing takes over. By the time we are ready to go they are already in their own creative flow. Call it impatience or intuition (probably a bit of both), these artists love colour, the more the better. They are less likely to procrastinate over mistakes, rather, learning to fix things as they go. They may love or hate what they create, but have fun getting there. Most first time bakers are remarkably surprised at what they can achieve.
Then there is a Quilter artist. These artists love step by step instructions. They listen intently, and if they could follow a PDF and a power point presentation at the same time, even better! They will only use the colours I suggest, give or take a shade, and they love symmetry. They like to be precise and don’t necessarily want to look outside the box, they want to draw the box. They like to envision the outcome. They replace spontaneity with perfectionism, and stumbling blocks are as red as stop signs. If a quilter makes a mistake it takes a lot of self control not start again. They create their best work if given the space and time to complete the task, which in a class environment can be tricky. They are very critical of their own work and can have a great deal of trouble getting out of their own heads. Satisfied but knowing they can do better next time, most quilters underestimate how good their first pastel painting is.
The good news is a baker can refine their art like a quilter and a quilter can loosen up and become a bit more of a baker. All both types of beginner artists need is a willingness to learn. Just add all the P’s into the mix, patience, perseverance, persistence and practice! In case you haven’t guessed already, I started off as a baker!
I always loved art days and my art teacher Mrs Lewis. We would wear our little art smocks and walk up the corridor in two lines. The smell of clag (pasty white glue) and student paint became the most exciting part of my week. A room where I could escape into another world for a while.
I remember a day we were all drawing in class. Pretty sure I was drawing a Toby mug. My horrible stepdad was an avid collector and had made our family room look more like a museum when he moved all his stuff in. I remember being terribly proud of what I’d done. When I put my hand up to let my teacher know I’d finished I was beaming with pride. I thought for sure she was going to tell me how good it was. Instead she did what no art teacher should ever do. She got her pencil and without asking she drew on my paper. A line here and a line there she managed to destroyed my art. Well I exaggerate, she probably didn’t destroy it however at the time I was left feeling really angry and disappointed.
I had spent all class on this piece and in my eyes she’d managed to ruin it with a few pencil lines. This day I learned that it is NEVER okay to touch someone else’s work without asking for their permission first.
As frustrating as it can be, part of the learning process is to fix things (obviously under instruction if you are in a learning environment) by yourself. Some students prefer help but I really encourage them to do it themselves just as Lynn mentored me. Not many people are born with amazing natural talent. If you want to become a good artist you need to train your ‘artists’ eyes to see things that muggles can’t! Encouraging and instructing a student rather that ‘fixing’ their work leaves them with a much better sense of self satisfaction and accomplishment. Frustration and pushing through the ugly stages of a painting is part of the process.
When I picked up that first pastel in Lynn’s class I was overwhelmed with everything that I needed to learn. One thing I had to remember was I was a beginner and we all have to start somewhere. All too often beginners compare their start to someone else’s finish and I was no different.
The baker artist in me had to slow down. I needed to be patient and kind to myself. I had to listen, practice and learn the basics. Similarly I had to slow down and learn how to eat again after my stomach cancer surgery. Everything needed to be chopped down into achievable bite-size pieces. In fact when I first got home for hospital all I could manage was an ice cube tray portion at a time. Literally, my life was reflected in art.
My biggest inner battle was knowing I had been gifted this second chance at life and I didn’t want to waste a precious moment by slowing down. Could I ever put my fear aside always knowing that the other foot could drop? Maybe there was more to this art stuff than I had thought.
One of the big lessons I learned through my first cancer was there was very little I could control. I had to lean into trust and become as vulnerable as I had ever been. My art however gave me a sense of self that I had never experienced. I was healing, discovering and opening myself up to a different type of vulnerability. It felt odd to find joy amongst so much turmoil and suffering. It helped me regain some control and focus while my body no longer cooperated with me, as my friendships had a huge overhaul and my grief spilled over. My anger and sadness about what was being taken away from me started to disappear with the kilos.
Discovering my new normal was like leaning how to walk all over again and was the hardest and most difficult recoveries I have ever had to endure. Learning a new skill that I could control was a blessing during some of my darkest days.
Image Ref: https://themuppets.tumblr.com/post/150975848319/so-you-know-the-swedish-chef-makes-his-famous
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Jun 21, 2024 | Art as Therapy, Artwork, Blogs, Cancer, Life Lessons, Pancreatic Cancer
I didn’t specifically mean to go down a pathway of art as therapy and a form of healing; rather, it found me.
It was 2012, and I was still in recovery from my stomach cancer. My life as I knew it had been turned on its head. In a parallel universe, I’m sure I was enjoying motherhood and socialising, and my hopes of finding myself again included rejoining the workforce. This timeline, however, looked very different.
I started back up again at a weekly women’s circle, and my circle mentor suggested that I try pastel drawing. Up until now, I had only ever played with abstract acrylic art, and I dabbled with some cartoons. My mum was the artist in the family, not me!
Side note: In truth, when I first started Circle in August 2009, my interests were mainly focused on developing my psychic abilities. As it turned out, this was not a class about chakras, crystals or the paranormal. Most weeks were spent peeling off layer after layer of belief and societal patterns, fears, religious dogma and lifetimes of karmic dross. I learned a lot about myself during these years, and it had its time and place in my life, but by August 2017, I was grateful when the spotlight didn’t fall on me on a Monday night. There was a moment when I knew in my heart that it was time to step out of Circle. It had been brewing for a while, and one thing I knew for sure was I shouldn’t feel worse when I left than when I entered. It had become a toxic environment for me. It is an interesting reflection knowing that Circle itself became something that I needed to let go of.
Lynn Whitty (Shiona as she is known in the Spirit Art World) became my art mentor for many years after 2012. I remember getting my first packet of mungyo soft pastels and driving myself to her then home in Springvale (southeast of Melbourne). She had the most amazing acrylic painting, which had been an Archibald entry, hung at her front door. I stood there in awe and thought to myself, ‘ One day, I want to be able to paint like that.’
Lyn is a bright and colourful character. Her modern hairstyle, funky glasses, and laugh make her stand out in any crowd. The room she taught from had a room full of easels. It was warm and cozy, with years of pastel dust staining the carpet. I felt instantly comfortable. As several other ladies came in, chatting, mingling and settling down with cups of tea, Lynn asked what I wanted to get out of class. I stated “I can’t draw animals and I can’t draw people.” Boy, was I wrong!
My first drawing was of a man in a green cape with a wolf. It was pretty two dimensional, and his eyes were a little close set, but considering I had never used soft pastels before, I was really proud of what I had achieved.
Something shifted in me during that first lesson. I realised I was capable of much more than I had imagined. Getting through stomach cancer and surgery had mostly been out of my control. I had to hand my life over to other people. I had to trust that the doctors, surgeons and specialists did what they were trained to do.
There were many lessons in there for me, including that of letting go and being more vulnerable than I had ever been in my life. This ‘creating space’, however, was a place that was just mine. A place where my inner child could learn and play.
My inner child! Of course, I had been neglecting her. I had all this grown-up, responsible stuff to do. From the age of 6, when I lost my father to bowel cancer, I became the responsible one. My childhood had been cruelly snatched out from under me, and now, with the help of my cancer, I had a chance to embrace her again.
This time, she could be encouraged, nurtured and supported, and I realised it was my job to give her the time and effort she needed to flourish. I was starting to really understand the meaning of gratitude and abundance. My vulnerability had opened up possibilities. It created a place for growth and transformation, so that is what I chose.
If I could get through stage 3 cancer, then my life, as I knew it, had already jumped tracks. What did I have to lose? The worst that could happen is that I could fail dismally. But how was I ever going to know unless I gave it a go?
My Wednesday mornings became my ritualistic art day. I set up a small easel at home in our family room and I worked at my craft every single day. This was the beginning of my art as therapy.
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Jun 16, 2024 | Artwork, Blogs, Cancer, Life Lessons, Pancreatic Cancer, Spiritual Guidance, Stomach Cancer, Updates
Hello and welcome to my Substack
Some of you may have been following me through my website or blogger posts, ‘ Unequivocally Me’. I have decided to move onto this platform as it is a little more flexible regarding features. At the moment, all my content will be free, and I may, down the track, have some additional reads for subscribers only.
I thought I would reintroduce myself to those who don’t know me or would like to get reacquainted.
My name is Michelle, and I am a full time Artist from Melbourne, Australia. I have been married for 20 years and have two children. I am also a step-mum to my husband’s girls since they were teeny tiny. I have had many professions throughout my lifetime and discovered the ‘artist within’ when I was diagnosed with stomach cancer at the age of 39 in 2011. Due to the nature of my surgery and recovery, I had to relearn how to do many things, including what life was going to look like with a few missing organs.
Travelling through the last 13 years has been an enormous learning experience. I have gained an unfathomable amount of knowledge about how my body works, what I am truly capable of and how critical kindness and community is. It has been nothing short of a colossal initiation into what my life should have always been. I thought I had it licked! Number 13, lucky for some and all that. Well, the Universe wasn’t entirely done with me.
The same week I was sharing my cancerversary on socials, I was heading back in for scans as part of my yearly cancer screening. You guessed it, pancreatic cancer. I can’t say I was surprised as my fatigue had hit an all-time high. Fortunately for me, my spider senses were already tingling. I’d started working with a dietitian and a diabetic educator in October 2022 and was only a few weeks away from seeing an endocrinologist. I knew my body was up to something, and I made sure my concerns were being heard.
This diagnosis has come with some new challenges, as well as circling back over some old trauma just to make sure I’d learned my lessons. I have come away from the experience with a renewed sense of wisdom and understanding, and amongst the chaos, there has been my constant – art.
My intention with this blog is to share what I have been through and how I have navigated the trickier parts of life. How my use of creativity and art has had the power to heal, inspire, and transform me. By sharing my journey and experiences with art as therapy, I hope to inspire others to embark on their own path of self-discovery and healing through creative expression.
My purpose is to live an authentic life. I want to continue to support and empower others just by being me. We can all harness the healing power of art to navigate life’s challenges.
I hope you’ll join me.
Michelle xx
If you are reading this blog from my website please consider subscribing to my free content over on Substack.
by Michelle Potter Artist - Energy Worker - Wayshower | Apr 17, 2020 | Artwork, Life Lessons, Spiritual Guidance
Firstly, this is the first time I have publicly shared a reading with you all. Whatever your belief system, if you do decide to continue to read, I want you to do so with an open heart and mind. For those that have had a commissioned Guide Drawing done for them before you will know there is part channeling, part symbology and part intuitive as I am gently guided when I start to write or paint. This is how it works for me.
This painting may mean different things to different people, and that is totally okay. I am an interpreter of my own work and how she resonates with you will be your truth. Feel free to screen shot her and take her into your home. Meditate with what this painting means to you and just allow the images to reveal themselves. I have had several requests for Guide work however I am not offering personal Guide Drawings at the moment as I am choosing to protect my own energy. However, if a little way down the track I feel guided to open up my books again I will be sure to post it on my Social. As always take care and #stayathome.
Namaste
Michelle
As I began writing this reading I was reminded of the song ‘He has the whole world in his hands.’ This song is a reminder that God (The Divine, Universal Energy or however you choose to identify with Source) is in control of all aspects of creation and we should take comfort in this knowledge. From the birds in the air and the fish in the sea to “little bitsy babies”, everything is in Gods hands.
This beautiful Guide introduced herself to me as Marla. When I looked up the meaning of the name Marla it is a variant of the name Marlene, which comes from Mary Magdalene, the biblical woman to whom Jesus Christ first appeared after his resurrection. This may mean something or nothing, but I believe a name holds weight especially when a Guide shares this with me, as they do not always reveal this detail. Interpret this as you will.
For those that know about power animals, Hummingbird symbology represents one of joy, love, healing, happiness and timelessness. ‘Hummingbird also possesses an unusual hovering pattern, and is able to move its wings in a figure of eight pattern, a symbol for infinity., This holds a message for us – often we find ourselves stuck in time, regretting or longing for the past, or hoping that the future will bring better things, building castles in the sky. We are shown how to view the past and then let go, rather than be continuously caught up in it, we learn how to appreciate that the past creates our future, and that even at the time some lessons were harsh and hurtful ones, we wouldn’t be who we are without these lessons today. We need the past to create the future, but mustn’t dwell in it, yet we may reflect on it bur not in a bitter cant-let-go manner. If we become the observer of our lives by moving back a step, our lives will be viewed differently. Hummingbird teaches us to go beyond time and to see that what happened in the past and what may happen in the future is not nearly as important as what is occurring now. Remember to hover in the moment, and to appreciate its sweetness. Drink deeply of the nectar of life. The vibrating hum of this birds wings and their lightness seem to symbolise the subtle energetic healing which essences can provide. Their physical lightness is a powerful reminder for us to lighten up. When weighed down with worries, our spirits cannot soar.’ – Inna Woolcott
To read more about Hummingbird energy please see the Shamanic Journey website http://www.shamanicjourney.com/hummingbird-power-animal-mes…
Marla’s Message:
Your prayers are heard sweet children of planet Earth. You have not been forgotten. Trust me when I say that a solution will come but not in the way you expect. Allow this time to plant seeds for what is to come, for this is the change that was always going to happen. If you want to see a different world then you are going to have to create this together. Some will soon forget the difficulties in which you are all facing, and others will find it difficult to move forward with the weight of their grief and sorrow. Hold fast awakened ones, as you are the anchors that will allow the space for the new world to enter. Grieve not for the souls that are ascending for they are simply coming home. You are surrounded by pure unconditional love. There is no right or wrong, it ‘just is’. Can you feel the energy building? It is sending out impulses that are reaching galaxies far beyond yours. We hear the call and we are coming. You do not have to do this alone, so with unseen hands we are holding space for you while you transition. Much like a Mother will watch tenderly knowing her babe will fall, but also waiting to see them stand up on their own. There are times when we need to step back to allow you to grow, this is that time. Remember, remember dear ones. Remember where you come from and why you are here at this very moment in time. You chose to help with the evolution of this planet. Return back to love and you will remember. You will remember.
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the wind and the rain in His hands
He’s got the wind and the rain in His hands
He’s got the wind and the rain in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the little bitty baby in His hands
He’s got the little bitty baby in His hands
He’s got the little bitty baby in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got you and me, brother in His hands
He’s got you and me, brother in His hands
He’s got you and me, brother in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got you and me, sister in His hands
He’s got you and me, sister in His hands
He’s got you and me, sister in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands